i hate myself because i am too nice and some people take it for granted

there are some people might feel lonely sometimes even though there are many friends around them... and I feel the same way too... sometimes i do feel very lonely even though i have many friends around me... and sometimes i do think i am not have been a good friend to them.. i scared i do not realize if i have treat them in a wrong way and hurts their feelings in any action that i am doing or in any words that came out from my mouth... maybe they do not notice even once that i am really feel sorry and always feel guilty to them for my wrongs all this time from the past until now.. they always say just forget what happened in the past and be like usual self... i do not know how i want to forget the past and act like usual with them.. i wish that i could get away from all this things forever.. i always tell myself to behave, change my manner in order to be a better person.. even though i have many friends, there are only some that i can lean on when i am in trouble.. the way they comfort me it is really touching... is it hard to comfort people when they are down?? at least when you comfort them when they are sad or down it could help them to calm down and feel warm.. is it hard?? what do you feel when there is no one be able to comfort you when you are down and they just watch you there not doing anything?? i feel kind of embarrass  when there is no one there to comfort me when i am feeling down.. i always on their side when they are in trouble or down but where are they when i need them at the moment?? i did not say that all of my friends are like that, there are still some of them i can rely on when i am in need... they comfort me and calm me down and they are always there when i need someone to lean on..